****Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!****

Borderline Personality Disorder Support Group

414-430-3110

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • BPD Blog
  • The Borderline Cycle
    • Borderline Traits
    • Positive Characteristics
    • BPD and Sex
    • Relationships
    • Myths/Controversies
    • Fear of Abandonment
    • BPD Stigma
    • How to Help
    • What You Need to Know
  • Other BPD Resources
  • BPD Quotes
  • BPD Memes
    • Home
    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • BPD Blog
    • The Borderline Cycle
    • Information about BPD
      • Borderline Traits
      • Positive Characteristics
      • BPD and Sex
      • Relationships
      • Myths/Controversies
      • Fear of Abandonment
      • BPD Stigma
    • For Loved Ones
      • How to Help
      • What You Need to Know
    • Other BPD Resources
    • BPD Quotes
    • BPD Memes

414-430-3110

Borderline Personality Disorder Support Group

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • BPD Blog
  • The Borderline Cycle
  • Other BPD Resources
  • BPD Quotes
  • BPD Memes
image96

How to help your loved one with BPD

  1. Learn as much as you can about BPD-there are tons of resources, websites, books, blogs, etc about BPD. It's a good idea to read scholarly articles in addition to other websites. Google Scholar has a lot of good articles on BPD. Message me for more ideas
  2. Join a support group for family members of someone with BPD-NAMI has a great family-to-family class that is for family members of people with mental illness. It's not specific to BPD, but it is a great class nonetheless. www.nami.org
  3. Listen actively and be sympathetic-Those with BPD appreciate really being heard
  4. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out
  5. Try to distract your loved one when emotions rise-distraction is most effective when the activity is also soothing
  6. talk about things other than the disorder
  7. ask them how they're doing
  8. when delivering difficult information/cushion it with support and empathy
  9. use nonjudgmental words to describe their behaviors
  10. be sensitive to their triggers, especially around rejection and abandonment
  11. validate, validate, validate
  12. encourage that they seek professional help
  13. have fun together!
  14. take suicidal threats and behaviors seriously
  15. be sure to take care of your own emotional and physical health
  16. set boundaries-setting limits can help them better handle the demands of the outside world, like school, work, or the legal system
  17. they benefit best from a home environment that is calm and relaxed
  18. the 3 C's rule-I didn't Cause it, I can't Cure it, I can't Control it
  19. recognize that your loved one is suffering, and that their hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain
  20. communication is key-recognize when it's safe or not safe to start a conversation

Things not to say/do

  • don't make threats or ultimatums
  • don't enable them
  • you're so emotionally unstable
  • why can't you hold down a relationship?
  • why are you so angry all the time?
  • just pull yourself together!
  • it's like you have two different personalities
  • you're crazy- this is probably the worst thing you could say to someone with a mental illness, it's abusive and is considered gaslighting
  • there is something seriously wrong with you
  • it's all in your head
  • be more positive
  • nothing-probably the most maddening thing to say to someone with borderline is nothing. We cannot end it like that. We need some kind of resolve
  • you're being manipulative and attention-seeking
  • you're just overreacting
  • you're too sensitive


Learn M0re

"When someone can't calm down, they need connection and comfort, not criticism and control"


Copyright © 2021 Borderline Personality Disorder Support Group - All Rights Reserved.

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • BPD Blog
  • The Borderline Cycle
  • Other BPD Resources

Powered by GoDaddy

This website uses cookies.

We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.

Accept
image97

#EndTheStigma

Help us end the stigma of mental illness

Join us